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Who's Problem Is It?

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” -Jack Sparrow

Yes, I understand perfectly, Captain. So many times in life I have focused on what I perceived to be a problem. The more I saw it as a problem, indeed it grew in intensity. The problem was my husband’s drinking, running out of money before the month ran out of days, not being understood by friends and family, and on and on the list could go. What I did not understand for a very long time was that all of these were problems indeed; however, I had a choice in how I reacted – aka my attitude! When I didn’t recognize my attitude as a problem, I kept doing a downhill slide into the murkiness of seeing the world as a hostile place. All those things were “making” me miserable. Did I try to do something about them? Of course I did. The thing I tried to do, though, was change someone else or something else. I didn’t consider looking at me. I mean, I was not the problem – they were. It wasn’t until after the divorce that I saw how miserable I made myself all those years. I finally realized that it wasn’t my job to change him. It was my job to change me. It was my responsibility to manage my money in a way that it did stretch if I stuck to a budget. It was my responsibility to stay in my own lane when it came to others and their judgmental attitudes. Bottom line, none of us can change anyone else. Not our parents, spouses, children, siblings or friends. They are living out their own movie here on earth. We are not to try to rewrite their scripts or jump into their storyline. If we are meant to interact with them, we are not the stars of their movie, they are and we are only playing our part. It is a hard lesson to learn, letting others do what they do without us directing them or trying to influence them. It is necessary though if we are to live in unconditional love. We don’t have to like their choices or their actions. After all, who is asking us to do that? Not everyone is going to be on the same page in life. And that is perfectly okay.

Dear Angels, so many times I have had the thought that if I could just go live on a deserted island, life would be so much easier than having to deal with others and the problems in the world. I know that is unrealistic and we are here to interact with each other and in doing so help guide our ships toward home. How can we increase our level of acceptance and living our life plan without feeling we have to conduct other people’s orchestras?

Dear Ones, when you sit in your home with the doors closed you have options. You can let what is on the other side of that door come into your home with you or you can look at what is actually in the room. On the other side of the door, people are living their lives they way they are choosing to live them. If you are sitting on your couch and fretting over what they are doing, how they are doing it and who they are doing it with then you are only making yourself miserable. They are not doing that. You are. You choose in any given moment who you are letting pull your strings. Are you giving your power away to someone who is not fitting your mold? Are you more focused on them to the point you do not even recognize your own self, your own needs and desires? If so, Dear Ones, you are not living your life; you are living through others and miserable because they are not doing it the way you want it done. Do you not see the absurdity of this? If you love chocolate and you keep trying to insist that everyone else love it because you do even though some may detest it, you are making no sense at all. Eat your chocolate and let others choose their flavor. Life will be much simpler that way.

Dear Angels, I love how you bring such clarity in for us in such a simple way. Thank you. I love you. Namaste y’all.

p.s. I love chocolate.

Teri Angel is a Happiness Coach, energy healer, best-selling author, spiritual teacher and mentor, and a motivational speaker. Teri is the Peace Campaign Coordinator for We, The World and the founder of a nonprofit organization, Angelspeakers Inc., which offers educational workshops and events centered around environmental awareness to include animals and nature, peace advocacy opportunities and ancient wisdom teachings. Teri’s movement “Peas For Peace” involves strengthening our awareness of the oneness of all, unifying mankind through compassion, peace, love and joy. She was named "She Who Blesses the Sacred Land" during the Peace On Earth Tour and embraces that title with loving grace.

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