Is this happening, yet again? How is it possible that ten years later, I am in the same place? A place of utter fear, complete panic, and uncertainty. A feeling of deep despair, when one realizes that they are alone, without the ability to control the outcome. Let me start at the beginning.
Ten years ago, my husband at the time, decided to leave our family home. It was a complete surprise the day he moved out, and along with him the money to pay the mortgage. I was left with no choice, so I thought at the time, but to sell our family home. I rented a house, and for the next seven years, I felt displaced. I was in perpetual limbo, awaiting the day when I would meet my next husband, and we would move into our family home.
Finally, I had the courage to buy a home, on my own. I realized that my knight in shining armor was not going to save the day, and I needed to be brave. It required my daughter and me to move to a different town. While the proximity to my daughter's school and her dads’ house was not ideal, it was what I could afford. My hesitation was that with only one income, how would I pay the mortgage if I lost my job. Then it happened. After devoting over two decades to my employer, I found myself without a job and unable to pay my mortgage. I was again in a place of utter fear, complete panic, and uncertainty.
This time, it felt different. I did not feel alone. I prayed and prayed continuously, knowing that God was with me. Coincidentally, this happened while attending a women’s ‘Resilient’ Bible study, written by my faith leader, Laura Busse. I had learned that Jesus said, “ In this world, you are going to have trouble. But be courageous! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). This time I had family, friends, prayer warriors, which I affectionately call the Bible Babes, and sisters in Christ in the Bible study praying for me. I was putting all my faith and trust in the Lord. Scripture says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6). “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”(Ephesians 2:14). “With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
This time, as I walked through the valley of fear, it was the knowledge that God is with me, and resting my faith in God’s word that kept me persevering. The great news is that God blessed me with a wonderful new opportunity two weeks before my mortgage was due. I am so thankful for the teachings that led me to the faith I needed to get through this. I am so grateful for the courage and strength I received from these amazing women. I am truly blessed to know that the Lord is with me on this journey of life.
Denice Choka is a child of God, a mother, an author, blogger, and encourager. You can contact her at email@example.com.
Please remember my friend, “ The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” Proverbs 19:8